In many South Asian communities, the pursuit of status is deeply ingrained in our upbringing. From a young age, we are taught—often unconsciously—that respect and admiration come with social standing. And one of the loudest symbols of that status? Brands.
I remember noticing this over three decades ago in India. If you could afford to wear or use name-brand items, it meant you were wealthy. And with wealth came status—and with status, respect. But this wasn’t just a personal preference or a consumer trend. It was, and still is, a cultural narrative fueled by marketing, media, and societal norms.
Everything, from the clothes we wear to the cars we drive, becomes part of a visual resume we carry. The more recognizable the brand, the more validation we receive.
Branding in the West: A Shift or the Same Story?
When I moved to Canada over 15 years ago, I noticed a shift. While brands were everywhere, they didn’t seem to carry the same social weight. People wore them because they were accessible, not because they defined them.
But today, we see that mindset shifting again. Branding is once more becoming a badge of status—even here. Sometimes I wonder: is this simply global consumerism catching up, or is it our own South Asian community carrying that narrative with us?
The Illusion of Fulfillment Through Brands
Many of us grow up believing that if we make enough money and own the right brands, we’ll finally be happy—that we’ll have everything we have ever desired. But why doesn’t it bring the deep fulfillment we’re really seeking?
The satisfaction is brief. As soon as we acquire one item, the desire for the next quickly follows. It becomes a never-ending cycle. And while it may give us a temporary boost, our internal self-esteem often remains unchanged. At best, we feel a slight boost, but it quickly fades, replaced by the urge to acquire more, hoping that will finally complete us.
Status on the Outside, Emptiness on the Inside
On the outside, we might appear confident and accomplished. We look the part, and that brings a certain level of social approval. But inside, it’s often a different story. There’s an emptiness we can’t quite fill.
Isn’t that a sign it’s time to ask deeper questions?
Is my self-worth tied to the brands I wear?
How many items will it take before I feel truly valuable?
What am I trying to prove—and to whom?
Reclaiming Our Self-Worth
The truth is, no brand or status symbol can give us lasting self-worth—because self-worth isn’t built outside of us, it’s cultivated within. When we base our value on what we own or how others perceive us, we are constantly handing our power away.
The real work begins when we turn inward.
We can start by becoming aware of the stories we have inherited, stories that say we are only worthy if we look successful. Awareness creates space for choice. Instead of chasing the next brand or external milestone, we can invest that energy in understanding ourselves more deeply.
What do I value? What makes me feel aligned, peaceful, and grounded—regardless of what I wear or own?
It’s Not About Giving Up—It’s About Letting Go of Attachment
It’s important to say: consumption isn’t wrong. Enjoying beautiful things, dressing well, or treating yourself is not the problem.
The issue arises when we tie our identity and self-worth to those things. When that happens, the fulfillment we seek remains out of reach, because we are always looking outward for something only we can give ourselves.
Start Where You Are
If you’re ready to explore your relationship with self-worth, here are a few simple places to begin:
Reflect on the question: If no one could see what I own, how would I define my value?
Practice moments of gratitude for who you are, not what you have.
Reflect on who you are without your titles, achievements, or possessions.
Consider working with a coach or therapist to uncover and rewrite limiting beliefs.
Because when we begin honoring our inner worth, the need to prove ourselves on the outside fades—and that’s when we find true confidence, and lasting freedom.
Get started on your journey by booking your Online Session Today.
Sometimes, the greatest freedom we can find is the freedom to choose our own path, even when the road ahead is uncertain.
⏱Reading time: ~5 minutes
Watching from the Window
I used to watch from my bedroom window as my friends stayed out late, their laughter echoing through the warm night air. Meanwhile, I sat inside, curfewed and careful, bound by rules I didn’t choose. Growing up as a girl in a South Asian household, my world was shaped by restrictions: no staying out late, no sleeveless tops, no saying no to chores — and no decision, big or small, without permission.
It wasn’t until much later that I realized this story wasn’t just about the rules I lived under — it was about the choices I made within them.
Living Under Watch
My life felt like it was constantly under surveillance. It wasn’t until I moved out that I experienced what it truly meant to breathe — to live freely.
But this is not a story about blame. This is a story about choices — mine.
I could have chosen rebellion, could have pushed back against everything they stood for. Or, I could choose to stay, to listen, and to find my own way within the life they created for me. I chose the latter.
Carrying the Weight of Obedience
But obedience didn’t mean I didn’t feel the weight of it. By the time I was 19, resentment had quietly built up inside me. I followed the rules, but inwardly, I felt caged — watching everyone around me move through life with a freedom I longed for, while I stayed rooted in a life that felt much smaller than my dreams.
Tasting Freedom for the First Time
When I finally left for university, it felt like I could breathe for the first time. No curfews. No permission slips for living my own life. I could go wherever I wanted, wear whatever I wanted, and — most importantly — I could begin choosing for myself.
Freedom was beautiful. But it was also unfamiliar — like learning to walk again after being still for too long.
Realizing I Could Trust Myself
For a while, I lived in contrast: At home, I shrank myself to fit the restrictions. At university, I stretched into the spaces freedom allowed.
And I realized something important — I was not someone who misused freedom.
Even when no one was watching, I made good choices for myself. That realization built a new kind of confidence in me — a quiet knowing that freedom would not break me; it would shape me.
Looking Back with Compassion
In that space of growth, I began to reflect on the anger I had carried toward my parents. I saw how many adults around me still held onto resentment from their childhoods, dragging it through their entire lives. I didn’t want to do the same.
So I backtracked. I asked myself:
Were my parents trying to restrict me — or protect me?
Were they acting from fear — or from love?
Were they simply doing the best they could with what they knew?
Watching my older brother’s struggles with substance abuse had terrified them. Moving to a new country as immigrants, losing the familiar culture they had once known — all of it had left them grasping for ways to protect their children in an unfamiliar world.
Their love looked like rules, like walls — but it was love nonetheless.
Healing Our Relationship
As I softened my perspective, I saw them soften too. I stopped putting them on a pedestal. I began seeing them simply as human beings — flawed, doing their best, sometimes failing, but always trying.
Slowly, our relationship began to heal.
Where I Stand Today
Now, in my 30s, as I reflect back, I realize just how far I have come. Today, I make my own decisions with confidence. I have traveled to the places I once only dreamed of — even taken a solo trip that once would have seemed impossible. And perhaps most importantly, I have healed not just my relationship with my parents, but also my relationship with myself. Healing is an ongoing journey — one I am willing to continue walking, with patience and openness.
If I hadn’t chosen healing, I would still be waiting for someone else to give me permission to live. I would have carried that unhealed version of myself into every friendship, every partnership, every dream — unknowingly asking others to validate what I needed to claim for myself.
Today, I notice the old patterns sometimes — the urge to seek permission — but I also see how far I have come. I see how much lighter my relationship with my parents feels. I see them clearly now, not just as “parents,” but as human beings who did the best they could with what they knew.
And more than anything, I feel grateful — for the journey, for the growth, and for the freedom I finally found within myself.
Choosing Healing Over Holding On
Sometimes it feels like we don’t have choices — especially when we’re young and life seems decided for us. But I truly believe we always have a choice. Maybe not in our childhood, when the world around us shapes so much of who we are. But in adulthood, the power shifts back into our hands.
We cannot change what happened to us. We cannot rewrite the past. But we can choose how we carry it. We can choose to heal, to grow, and to move beyond the stories that once defined us.
Choosing healing is not always easy — it takes patience, courage, and compassion for ourselves and others. But it is the kind of choice that frees us. It’s the choice that opens the door to a life we build on our own terms — with love, with strength, and with hope.
In the end, healing is the greatest permission we can ever give ourselves.
Sometimes, the most powerful shift happens not when life meets our expectations—but when we learn to meet life as it is.
⏱ Reading time: ~8 minutes
We all carry an internal script—stories we’ve crafted about how life should unfold. From the careers we chase to the way we decorate our homes, we’re constantly shaping our lives based on imagined ideals.
But perhaps nowhere do expectations run as deeply—or as dangerously—as they do in our relationships.
It starts innocently enough: a dream of what love should look like. But over time, unchecked expectations can quietly create distance between two people who genuinely care for each other. This is a story about one woman who learned to see love not for what she imagined, but for what it truly was.
💐 The Dream of Romance
She grew up with a clear picture of what love looked like. Romance, to her, meant:
Flowers just because
Candlelight dinners
Spontaneous weekend getaways
Thoughtful surprises
Handwritten notes
Being seen in the little things—like how she liked her tea or which side of the bed she preferred
When she entered a relationship, she naturally carried those expectations with her. Her partner was kind, steady, and deeply committed—but those romantic gestures weren’t part of his love language.
He wasn’t great at surprises. He didn’t write poetry. He wasn’t the “planner type.”
Though he adored her, she couldn’t help but feel a quiet disappointment rise.
Was this really love if it didn’t look like the movies—or match the version she had held in her mind for so long?
🌱 The Subtle Ways Love Shows Up
Though her partner wasn’t performing grand gestures, he showed up in ways she hadn’t known to appreciate at first.
He respected her voice, her thoughts, and her space.
He celebrated her growth without trying to control or reshape her.
He didn’t always initiate plans—but he always supported hers.
He didn’t surprise her with gifts—but always remembered what she wanted.
He might not have written love letters—but he wanted her beside him through life’s ordinary moments.
Still, a tension lingered. Even with all this care, she often found herself circling back to disappointment. Four years into the relationship, the pattern remained: hope, expectation, disappointment.
She began to ask: Why is it always me feeling let down? Am I doing everything right by him? Why doesn’t he seem to need as much from me as I do from him?
🧩 When Love Languages Aren’t the Full Answer
The couple explored love languages together, hoping it would help them bridge the gap. For a time, it worked. He made the effort to do more of the things she needed. But slowly, the enthusiasm faded.
She wondered if she was asking for too much—or if he simply didn’t care enough.
But as she dug deeper, something else came to light: He wasn’t emotionally distant. He simply viewed love differently. He wasn’t attached to how things should be. He didn’t view love as something to prove through specific actions.
He was rooted in the being of love—not the doing.
Meanwhile, she had tied love to visible signs—gestures, performances, checkboxes. And when they weren’t met, doubt crept in.
🔎 The Awakening: Recognizing the Intangible
It was a slow realization—but eventually, she began to see love where she hadn’t noticed it before.
Love was in how he respected her autonomy.
How he sat beside her in silence without needing to fill the space.
How he supported her dreams without fear or competition.
How he questioned his own beliefs so their relationship could be more equal.
How he always made her feel like his life was better with her in it.
She had missed these signs because they didn’t match the script she had written. But once she let go of that rigid narrative, she could finally see the richness in what she had been experiencing all along.
⚖️ Expectations vs. Reality: A New Understanding
Love languages are a beautiful tool—but they aren’t the full picture.
They can help us show up more intentionally, yes. But they also invite us to become better observers of how our partner already loves us—often in quiet, subtle ways.
Sometimes, expectations can blind us to the real thing. We focus on what’s missing and forget to notice what’s already there.
She realized her idea of love had once been too small—measured only by surface gestures and socially inherited ideals.
The real thing was bigger. Deeper. Quieter.
👁️🗨️ Seeing Beyond What You Hoped For
This story isn’t just hers. It’s one many of us live without realizing.
If you find yourself caught in cycles of unmet expectations and subtle disappointments in your relationship, ask yourself:
Am I truly seeing how my partner is showing up?
Have I attached my sense of being loved to specific actions?
Is there love happening in ways I have simply overlooked?
Letting go of rigid expectations doesn’t mean settling—it means expanding. Expanding your understanding of love. Expanding your capacity to receive it in forms you hadn’t imagined. And most of all, expanding into a more present, more grounded version of connection.
Maybe this is just the beginning.
🌍 When Expectations Show Up in Other Parts of Life
This experience isn’t limited to romantic relationships. Expectations shape so much of how we move through life—and when reality doesn’t align with our vision, we often end up feeling disappointed, stuck, or even resentful.
Think about friendships. We might expect friends to reach out first, remember our birthdays, or check in during tough times. But not everyone shows care in the same way. Some friends offer presence, not words. Others give practical help rather than emotional support. Just like in romantic partnerships, we can miss the love if we’re only looking for it in one form.
Consider family relationships. Many people grow up hoping their parents will validate their choices, understand their emotional needs, or show affection in a certain way. When those expectations aren’t met, pain often follows. But sometimes, love is offered in quiet actions—like providing stability, showing up in emergencies, or cooking us a meal.
Similarly, Parents imagine who their child should become: successful, obedient, academically bright, emotionally composed. When a child expresses different interests, struggles in school, or chooses a path that doesn’t align with that vision, disappointment can creep in—not because the child has failed, but because they didn’t match the script written for them. This pressure can unintentionally communicate, “You’re only worthy of love when you meet my expectations.” But real connection begins when we release control and start meeting children where they are, not where we wish they would be.
Even in careers, expectations run deep. We envision a job that fulfills us, a manager who values us, or a creative project that takes off quickly. When things don’t unfold according to plan, we might question our worth or direction. But perhaps growth is happening in invisible ways. How external situations are shaped is not in our control and never will be, but we can decide how to react to it.
And then, there’s the relationship we have with ourselves.
We hold expectations about who we should be by a certain age, how we should feel, what we should have accomplished. When we don’t meet those imagined milestones, self-judgment creeps in. But just like with others, we deserve compassion. Our journey may not look the way we expected—but that doesn’t make it wrong. It just makes it ours.
🌊 The Weight of Expectations vs. The Flow of Life
Expectations often pull us away from the present moment. When life doesn’t unfold exactly how we imagined, we’re left with a choice: to accept and move with the flow—or to resist and suffer.
We feel unsettled when people don’t behave the way we want them to, or when our environment doesn’t give us the feelings we hoped for. We begin to question: Why isn’t this happening the way I pictured it? Why isn’t the world responding the way I expected it to?
But what if we stopped comparing reality to the idealized version in our mind?
What if we let go of the illusion that happiness can only exist in a certain form?
Life may not look exactly how we imagined—but it’s always moving forward. And when we choose to be present with what is, rather than stuck on what should have been, we open ourselves to a deeper kind of peace—one that doesn’t depend on perfection, but on presence.
Sometimes, the most powerful shift happens not when life meets our expectations—but when we learn to meet life as it is.
✨ Final Reflection 💭 Take a moment to reflect: What expectations have you been holding onto that may be keeping you from fully embracing the life—or love—you already have?
Sometimes, magic doesn’t come with sparkles—it shows up quietly, when we need it most.
⏱ Reading time: ~ 4 minutes
Many years ago, my Biji (grandmother) shared a story with me that has stayed close to my heart.
Biji had always longed to visit a particular Gurudwara (temple), a spiritual place located in the hills. After years of holding onto that desire, she finally decided to make the journey. It wasn’t an easy one—it required long hours of walking and a challenging uphill climb. But Biji was determined. She knew she had to fulfill her desire to visit the Gurudwara.
The first part of the journey went smoothly. But soon, she started feeling tired and thirsty. She realized she had run out of water. She kept going, holding on to hope that it will be okay.
As her thirst grew, she silently wished someone would bring her water. There was no one around—just the quiet path.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a woman appeared beside her. She handed Biji a silver metal bottle filled with cold water and gently told her to sit down and rest.
Biji drank water and paused to catch her breath. She felt grateful and relieved. Now, she knew she can continue her journey.
Moments later, she looked around—and the woman was gone. Nowhere to be seen.
This was a moment of magic for Biji. She was able to finish her journey to the Gurudwara with more ease with the help of a stranger.
She shared this story with me when I was a child, and back then, it felt like a miracle.
I believed in magic.
But somewhere along the way, as I grew older, I lost that sense of wonder—until last year.
🌿 How Mindfulness Brought Me Back
In 2024, I began practicing mindfulness more regularly. It helped me slow down, regulate my nervous system, heal, and, most importantly, reconnect with the present moment.
Through this practice, I began to understand that life is what we make of it.
As Wayne Dyer said:
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
🌅 The Time I Experienced Magic
In November 2024, I visited Victoria, B.C.—a place where my journey of self-reflection first began in 2014.
I was there for two nights with my cousins. On the second morning, I woke up at 6 a.m. after only four hours of sleep but felt a strong urge to go for a walk.
Instead of taking my usual path by the ocean, I felt drawn in a different direction—one I had never explored before. The sun wasn’t visible yet, but its light shimmered across the water. I kept walking, savouring each step, carried by an unexplainable feeling that something magical was about to happen.
That morning, I witnessed the most breathtaking sunrise I’ve ever seen. It was radiant, peaceful, and filled me with a deep sense of awe.
🌱 The Lesson: Trust the Nudge
That day, I realized something important:
We all carry a sense of curiosity within us. A desire to explore, to trust our intuition, to take the path less traveled.
But the noise of the outside world often drowns out that inner voice. Fear creeps in— fear of failure, of judgement, of stepping outside the norm.
But what if we did it anyway? What if, in choosing the unfamiliar path, we discovered something magical?
That morning, I knew something deep in my heart: The path I’m on in life—even if it’s uncertain and scary—is the one I want to take. Because it feels true. It feels authentic to who I am.
💫 Magic in the Smallest Moments
Magic doesn’t always look like something big. Sometimes, it’s in the quiet moments when we follow a small inner nudge.
I could’ve stayed in bed. I could’ve ignored that feeling to go for a walk. But I listened—and because of that, I experienced something truly beautiful.
The lesson? Trust your inner voice, even when it doesn’t make sense. Take the walk. Try the new path. Follow curiosity.
When we do, life often meets us with something unexpected and meaningful.
💖 What Biji Taught Me
Biji’s story shows us that when we don’t give up, help can come in unexpected ways.
She was tired, thirsty, and alone on a difficult path—but she kept going. Even though no one was around, she kept hoping. And when she needed it most, someone appeared to help her.
Maybe that woman was just a kind stranger. Maybe she was something more.
Either way, it was a reminder that we are never truly alone—even when it feels like we are.
Sometimes, when we take steps with faith, support shows up at the perfect time. That’s the magic.
The experiences we yearn for do exist.
But we only encounter them if we allow ourselves to try—if we stay curious, if we trust our inner guidance, if we give ourselves permission to explore.
We all have stories we tell about ourselves. Where we came from. What shaped us. Who hurt us. Who we had to become to survive.
⏱ Reading time: ~ 5 minutes
If someone asked for the story of our life, we start in childhood and build from there—layer by layer, memory by memory. These stories feel true. They explain who we are. But what if the version we’ve been telling ourselves isn’t the whole truth? What if it’s only our version?
The Story I Held Onto
When I was 10 years old, I remember playing with my older brother, who was 15 at the time. We were chasing each other around the house, laughing, full of energy. I was running as fast as I could because I didn’t want to be caught, I did not want to lose. At one point, we both paused to catch our breath. I looked back and saw him start moving again, so I took off running. Just a few wild, flying steps later, I ran straight into a wall. I cut the skin near my right eyebrow and had to get stitches. I was furious. I blamed my brother for everything—the pain, the injury, the scar. For years, that was the version of the story I carried with me.
But when I brought it up to him years later, he told a different version. He remembered the pause too, but said he never started running again. I just looked back, assumed he was coming, and ran. The wall came out of nowhere and I ran into it on my own.
When Memory Becomes Identity
Memory is a strange thing. We remember events through our own lens, shaped by emotion, interpretation, and time. And the more we repeat a story to ourselves, the more it becomes the truth… even if it’s just our truth.
That’s the power of stories, we don’t just tell them, we live inside them. Each time we replay a memory in our minds, or retell what happened to someone else, we reinforce the narrative. It becomes more solid, more believable, more real.
Our minds don’t always store the full picture. Instead, the subconscious holds onto the emotional snapshot—the exact moment that hurt, scared, or shocked us—and the feelings we had in that instant. Over time, those feelings get ingrained into our identity. We stop seeing it as something that happened and start seeing it as something we are. Without realizing it, we begin to shape our personality, our reactions, even our self-worth around that single moment.
When we’re young, we don’t have the tools to question this. Therefore, the pattern runs on autopilot. But as adults, it becomes our responsibility to pause, reflect, and process these stories. To feel the emotions we once buried. To understand what really happened—and what we made it mean.
Because yes, what happened was real. And yes, how we felt in that moment was real. But that doesn’t mean the story we built around it still needs to define who we are today.
🌱 How to Start Reshaping a Story
Reshaping a story isn’t about rewriting the past. It’s about reclaiming your power in the present. Here’s how to begin:
1
Name the story you’ve been carrying. What’s a belief or memory you find yourself repeating?
Think prompt: What’s a moment or belief that feels like it still defines me?
2
Acknowledge how it made you feel. Give space to the emotion—not to relive the pain, but to release it.
Think prompt: When I think about that moment, what emotions still live in my body?
3
Explore the meaning you created. What belief about yourself or the world came from that story?
Think prompt: What did I come to believe about myself because of this?
4
Choose to let go of how it defined you.
Maybe that story once made you feel small, unworthy, unsafe, or unseen. Maybe it taught you to protect yourself in ways that no longer serve who you are today. Now is the time to loosen your grip. To recognize that while that moment shaped you, it doesn’t have to define you anymore.
Think prompt:
In what ways have I let this story define who I am? What parts of that definition am I ready to release?
Healing starts when we challenge the story we tell ourselves. Some ask, why should we even do that? Because the stories we carry shape how we see ourselves, how we show up in relationships, and how we navigate the world. If we never pause to examine those stories, we risk living from a version of ourselves that’s outdated, incomplete, or no longer true.
We question the narrative because we long to build a healthier relationship with ourselves—to feel more at ease in our own skin, to invite more harmony and compassion into our lives, and to reconnect with who we truly are beneath the layers of old meaning and memory. When we do this, we don’t erase the past—we simply choose to meet it with curiosity and tenderness. And in doing so, we give ourselves the power to write a new story—one rooted in awareness, healing, and truth.
People often ask, “What is self-love? What does it really mean? What does it feel like?”
⏱ Reading time: ~ 4 minutes
Imagine a friend who sees you completely—no judgment, no conditions. The one who, in those rare, beautiful moments, holds space for you with full presence and acceptance. Now, what if you be that friend to yourself? Have you ever experienced the magic during a walk in nature, watching a sunset, laughing endlessly with a friend, or hugging a loved one? There’s a wholeness experienced in those moments, a sense of being fully at ease just in that moment, feeling everything is okay. To me, that’s what self-love is. It’s the wholeness we experience, embracing all parts of who we are—the wild, the beautiful, the messy, the lonely, the bitter, the joyful—all of it.
We often wait for someone else to give us the love we crave, but the truth is, it has to start with us. How can we expect someone to embrace all parts of us if we don’t do the same? I know, I know—this is something we hear all the time. But let’s pause and really think about it. If we don’t understand what it means to love ourselves, what standard are we setting for how others should love us?
Even when someone does come along and offers us love, we struggle to fully receive it. We start questioning: How can they love me? What do they see in me? That lingering doubt keeps us feeling unfulfilled, no matter who we’re with. Instead of waiting for external validation, wouldn’t it be more powerful to start within—learning what self-love truly is and allowing ourselves to experience it, both from within and from others?
The first step is simply recognizing when self-love is absent. Awareness is the key. Once you realize it’s missing, you can begin working towards it.
The next step is acceptance. When we embrace all parts of ourselves, self-love starts to feel more natural. Think about it—if we don’t fully accept every side of who we are, how can we expect someone else to? It’s easy to place that responsibility on others, hoping they’ll accept us completely, but true growth comes from doing the deep inner work ourselves.
In vulnerable moments, instead of criticizing or rejecting what we feel, we can pause, acknowledge what’s happening, and hold space for ourselves. Here are few examples:
You’re having a tough day, and everything feels like too much. Instead of telling yourself to “just get over it,” you pause, take a deep breath, and acknowledge, “This is hard. I’m feeling overwhelmed, and that’s okay. I can take a moment to breathe and gather myself.”
You mess up at work or forget an important detail. Instead of calling yourself “stupid” or replaying the mistake endlessly, you acknowledge, “I made a mistake, and I feel embarrassed. But I’m human, and I can learn from this.”
A weekend passes, and you realize you didn’t connect with anyone. Instead of telling yourself you’re unlovable, you gently reflect, “I’m feeling lonely, and that’s a real emotion. Maybe I can reach out to someone or do something that brings me joy.”
You feel a wave of sadness without a clear reason. Instead of pushing it away, you sit with it and say, “I don’t have to understand this feeling right now. I can just let myself feel it without judgment.”
We don’t need to push those parts away or question why they exist. The more we resist, the more we shut ourselves down. But if we can love them simply because they are a part of us, we can begin to love ourselves for who we truly are—just as we are. And in that acceptance can slowly start incorporating.
It’s important to remember that self-acceptance doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process.
The Misconceptions About Self-Love:
Sometimes we confuse self-care for self-love. Treating ourselves and giving ourselves gifts and experiences is not the core of self-love. Instead, it is loving all parts of us that we hope and wish someone else did. A simple way to distinguish between self-care and self-love is this:
Self-care: Taking a long bath after a stressful day. It’s about tending to your immediate needs for relaxation and rejuvenation.
Self-love: Understanding why you’re stressed in the first place and making changes in your life to reduce that stress, whether it’s setting boundaries, speaking up for yourself, or choosing not to overextend your energy. Self-love goes deeper—it’s about respecting your own needs and prioritizing your well-being on a long-term basis.
Self-care is the act, and self-love is the mindset that motivates it.
What if we stopped labeling emotions as good or bad—and started honoring every feeling as part of being human?
⏱ Reading time: ~ 2 minutes
Embracing the Full Spectrum of Emotions: Why Every Feeling Matters
Humans experience a vast and beautiful range of emotions. But from an early age, many of us are taught to ignore or suppress certain ones.
Society often labels emotions like sadness, anger, and fear as “negative,” while praising only the “positive” ones—happiness, joy, and excitement. We hear things like:
“Don’t cry.”
“Don’t be upset.”
“Stay strong.”
The message is often clear: quickly return to smiling, find a reason to laugh, and just push through.
But here’s something you might not know—humans can experience around 27 distinct emotions. So why are we encouraged to suppress so many of them? Why are only a few embraced?
💭 The Fear of Feeling Too Much
One reason could be fear. We’re afraid that if we truly let ourselves feel grief, sadness, or anger, we might get stuck there—that we’ll spiral and never find our way back.
But when we constantly push these feelings aside, we risk losing touch with ourselves. We may lean too heavily on logic, or worse, numb ourselves entirely. And while being rational has its place, true well-being comes from balance.
When we allow ourselves to feel, we open the door to deeper relationships, inner peace, and real connection—with ourselves and others.
🌿 What If We Were Taught to Feel?
What if, instead of being told to ignore our emotions, we were taught to understand and manage them?
Imagine learning how to:
Hold space for your sadness without fear
Acknowledge frustration without guilt
Sit with grief and still feel gratitude
Balance isn’t always 50/50. Some days, it’s 60/40. Others, it might be 80/20. What matters is the freedom to feel it all, without shame or judgment.
🛠 Tools to Help You Feel It All
There are so many supportive tools that can help us navigate our emotions:
Mindfulness
Journaling
Therapy or Coaching
Breathwork and Meditation
These practices help us regulate, reflect, and reconnect with ourselves. Over time, we begin to trust that we can handle the full emotional ride of life—not just the easy parts.
🌟 You Deserve to Feel Fully Alive
When we learn to embrace our emotional world, we move beyond simply surviving.
We begin thriving—living with depth, honesty, and heart.
Every emotion is part of your story. Each one brings a message, a lesson, or a moment of connection. Let them in. Give them space. Let them teach you.
Because when we welcome the full spectrum of what it means to be human, we don’t just live—we come alive.
Honouring the Body You Live In, Today and Every Day.
⏱ Reading time: ~ 5 minutes
Our bodies are vessels that carry us through life, providing us with everything from energy to movement, from strength to communication, and much more. Someone once told me that our bodies are like temples, and we should care for them in the same way.
Understanding the depth of this comparison requires time, self-reflection, and experience. From birth, society places judgments on our bodies—how much we weigh, the amount of hair we have, how our features align, and which category we fit into: fair or dusky, fat or skinny, tall or short. But if our bodies are vessels designed to help us navigate and experience life, why do we place so much emphasis on how they look?
The appearance of our vessel only matters to those who fail to understand its true purpose. What someone brings to the table—whether it’s love, wisdom, creativity, or strength—has nothing to do with the exterior. It comes from within. The external shell is merely a tool, and its value lies not in how it looks but in how well it functions to support our journey through life.
That said, it is essential to care for our bodies because if the vessel is neglected, it will fail us in the very purpose for which it exists. Nourishing our bodies is key. Our bodies often give us subtle hints about what they need—be it rest, nutrition, movement, or care. When we start listening, we begin to flourish. When we respect the needs of our body, it becomes more capable of guiding us through the experiences we hope to enjoy.
Embracing Imperfection
We are conditioned to chase unrealistic beauty standards, but what happens when we shift our perspective? When we stop seeing imperfections as flaws and start embracing them as unique characteristics that tell the story of our lives?
For many of us, this journey of self-acceptance is not linear. It can take years to unlearn societal pressures, to stop comparing ourselves to others, and to embrace the skin we’re in. But the moment we do, we free ourselves to fully inhabit the body that carries us through life.
Listening to the Body
Our bodies are intelligent. They tell us when they’re tired, hungry, stressed, or in need of movement. Unfortunately, we often drown out these signals with stress, busy schedules, or societal expectations. We push through fatigue, ignore hunger cues, and criticize ourselves instead of nurturing our bodies with love and care.
But what if we listened more? What if we treated our bodies not as objects to mold into societal ideals, but as allies in our quest for a fulfilling life?
Cultural and Societal Pressure: The Ever-Changing Beauty Standards
Let’s dive deeper into the impact of cultural and societal pressure on body image. If external appearance were truly the most important thing, why would we all be created so differently? Why would different eye shapes, skin tones, and body types exist? Despite these differences, our bodies function in the same miraculous ways—allowing us to move, think, and experience life.
Beyond that, every country and culture has its own set of beauty standards. Which ones are we supposed to follow? Every generation introduces new ideals of beauty. Should we subscribe to the trends of the time or stay true to our roots? Is it about where we live or the culture we were born into?
But here’s the real question: Who is even deciding these beauty standards? Is it the marketing teams behind beauty brands? Are we really giving them that much control over how we view our beautiful vessels?
If we don’t even know who is setting these standards, why do we feel compelled to follow them so rigidly? The standards that play on repeat in our minds are often shaped by industries profiting off our insecurities. It’s time to challenge that mindset. Instead of conforming to arbitrary ideals, let’s focus on what truly matters—our well-being, our experiences, and the incredible things our bodies allow us to do every single day.
A Personal Note on My Body Journey
On a personal note, this is the healthiest relationship I have ever had with my body—both physically and emotionally. While it may not appear obvious to others, it is my ultimate truth. I’m neither the heaviest I’ve ever been nor the lightest, but I am undeniably the healthiest I’ve ever been.
This healthiness doesn’t come from extreme diets or obsessive exercise routines. Instead, it stems from giving my body what it needs: nourishment, movement, love, and care. My goal isn’t to convince others that I am the healthiest I’ve ever been. Rather, it’s to share that cultivating a positive, healthy mindset toward your body can lead to profound growth.
In the past year, I’ve experienced transformative changes simply by listening to what my body needs. It’s about moving away from external validation and understanding that health is a deeply personal journey. When we stop chasing standards set by others and start honoring our bodies for the unique vessels they are, we create space for true self-acceptance and well-being.
P.S. – In all shapes and forms, I’m still the same Gurleen—with more personal growth.
Did you know that the words you say to yourself have a tremendous impact on your thoughts, feelings, and actions? That’s why practicing positive affirmations can be such a powerful tool for mindset and personal growth.
Positive affirmations are statements that you repeat to yourself, usually in the present tense, to help you shift your mindset and focus on what you want to achieve. By saying positive affirmations regularly, you can reprogram your subconscious mind and create a mindset that support your goals and dreams.
Here are some examples of positive affirmations to try:
– I am worthy and deserving of love, success, and happiness. – I trust in my abilities and believe in myself. – I embrace change and see challenges as opportunities for growth. – I am grateful for all the blessings in my life and focus on abundance. – I am healthy, strong, and full of energy.
Remember, the more you repeat these affirmations, the more they will become ingrained in your mind and the more you will start to believe them. So take a few minutes every day to say your affirmations out loud, write them down, or even create a vision board with inspiring images and words that resonate with you.
You have the power to shape your thoughts and create a positive mindset that supports your goals and dreams. Start by affirming your worth, your abilities, and your potential, and watch how your life unfolds in amazing ways.
We all face moments where we face transient anxiety. Mindfulness activities have proven to reduce anxiety and stress.
Music Therapy – Find or make a playlist of songs that are relaxing. Genre is up to you. Music will help you refocus your thoughts.
Mindful Body Scan – In a comfortable position, sitting or standing, examine your full body. Feel you toes, fingers, any texture you are touching. Relax the muscles feeling tense and remember to breathe.
Breathing Exercise: Breathing helps promote a state of calmness. Breathe-in for 3 counts, Hold for 3 counts, Breathe-out for 3 counts, and repeat.
Go for a Walk – walking increases blood flow and blood circulation to the brain and body which may help reduce anxiety.
